Here’s the thing: Conservatives aren’t funny.
There’s a reason there are virtually no right-leaning comedy films, late-night shows or stand-up comedians outside of a handful. Republicans will say it’s because of liberal media bias, but this is America; if there was a demand for Klan-ish comedy there would be a supply—they just don’t understand how comedy works.
Recently I wrote a story about a Republican lawmaker in Colorado who thought the best moment to tell an already-not-funny lynching joke was just before he went on to declare that the three-fifths compromise wasn’t racist. And don’t get me started on the pungent dumpster fire of political dad jokes and virtual no man’s land of tomatoes and crickets that is Mike Huckabee’s Twitter feed.
Hell, every speech made during Donald Trump’s entire presidency was an awkward, cringe-worthy vomit-y-comedy routine that included bits about Russia helping him find Hillary Clinton’s emails, shooting up Lysol in order to protect oneself from COVID-19 infection and slowing the rise in infection cases by not testing for COVID so damn much—all of these were jokes, according to ex-President Great Value Gallagher.
During the Obama years, I remember walking into a florist in Cumming, Ga., where a sign was displayed on the wall that read: “A Muslim, an illegal immigrant and a Black guy walk into a bar; the bartender said ‘How are you, Mr. President?” The MAGA enthusiast shop owners thought it was hilarious while I didn’t know what I was more offended by; the racism or the “joke” that didn’t turn a phrase, make use of any semblance of comedic irony and had the subtlety of an elephant fart.
Anyway, Oklahoma state Sen. Nathan Dahm isn’t funny. He thinks he is and he swears that others think he is, but he’s really just another mediocre white male misogynist whose remedial understanding of comedic timing and room reading had him thinking it was appropriate to tell and then double-down on a sex joke he made about Vice President Kamala Harris.
From News 4 Oklahoma:
Republican Sen. Nathan Dahm made the comments in an interview with KFOR’s sister station, KTUL in Tulsa, as he was talking about a bill he filed regarding paper straws.
“You can’t use a paper straw for a milkshake but maybe Kamala Harris could because of her vast experience,” Sen. Dahm is heard saying in the recording.
He stood by the lewd sex joke, as well as implications Harris had slept her way through the political ranks in an interview with KFOR Friday evening.
“Her way in getting to some of her early positions and where she is now, how she was selected and chosen,” Dahm told KFOR.
Dahm then took his Part City Dennis Miller-ass to Twitter to boast about owning the libs with the middle school dude-bro humor he considers to be edgy comedic stylings.
“BREAKING: if you think I’m going to be ‘politically correct you need to realize a few things,” Bill Maher’s third testicle tweeted. “1) you obviously know nothing about me 2) you’re in for a bad time 3) I’ve been assured my jokes are hilarious 4) your emotional opinions are irrelevant.”
Imagine thinking that backlash over a state senator making sex jokes about the first woman vice president of the United States is a show of political correctness.
“I was making a joke,” Dahm told KFOR. “I understand that some people will find it to be off-color that I would repeat a joke, but I believe that’s one of the problems that we have in society right now is that people seem to not be able to take a joke.”
Bro, YOU ARE A STATE LAWMAKER PROPOSING LEGISLATION, NOT A COMIC PLAYING AMATEUR NIGHT AT WHEREVER WHITE PEOPLE’S APPOLLO IS!
Although, to be fair, the bill he’s been ranting about does seem like a joke. Paper straw legislation? Are Oklahoma Republicans this bored?
Predictably, neither Dahm’s Democrat nor Republican female colleagues thought his Dollar Store ‘90s Rush Limbaugh joke was funny.
“Every single female in that Capitol has a similar story to tell, including myself. We have these accusations made about us all the time, and it’s unfortunate,” state Sen. Jessica Garvin (R) told News 4. “This is not something that is partisan. This is something that women of leadership positions struggle with no matter if it’s in politics or not. There’s always some reason women are successful aside from their own merit.”
“[His] comments are derogatory, they’re hurtful, they’re mean, they are misogynistic and they’re almost racial, right? Would he say that to a woman who isn’t a woman of color?” Rep. Ajay Pittman (D) said.
“It’s clear that we’re not going to get through to this one senator,” House Minority Leader Emily Virgin (D) said. “It is, though, important for the rest of us to speak out about his despicable behavior and let people know that this is not the attitude or the feeling of the vast majority of people at the State Capitol.”